What to Look for When Looking for a Pastor

A short guide to help you find a good shepherd.

Many today are on the hunt for a good pastor. Dr. Scot McKnight and I, in our book Invisible Jesus, A Book About Leaving the Church and Looking for Christ, have written a short guide to assist you.

What to Look for When Looking for a Pastor

If you are on a search committee or are simply looking for a new church to escape a toxic leader and team, remember that the typical first impressions don’t count. Most pastors can platform well. If they couldn’t, they wouldn’t be on the platform. So you’re wise to ignore or look past the attributes of performance.

Wait, listen, watch, and discern. Yes, it takes time. Don’t rush to judgment or be in a hurry. Hold back. Pray about it. Think about it. Ask good questions.

Begin with a good definition of a pastor—one who lives out the life of Jesus in your midst in a way you can follow. In other words, a pastor should be someone who nurtures you into becoming more like Jesus. Please avoid the temptation to think of a pastor as a CEO, an organization guru, or a motivational speaker. They should be the presence of Christ for the community. They gather, teach, and offer the body and blood for salvation and the forgiveness of sins. And their life makes the cross and the broken body of Christ visible and tangible in ways that bring about restoration and resurrection.

The foremost attribute to look for in a pastor is Spirit-shaped Christlikeness, someone who has followed the Spirit of God in such a way that the fruit of the Spirit is visible on the tree that is their life. A good pastor is loving and joyful, not constantly angry or defensive. They are peaceful (both on and off social media) and patient with people. A good pastor avoids anxiety about the long, slow journey of faith. A good pastor’s spirit and presence are kind and good. Such virtues will also permeate the culture of the church, building an ethos in which people not only do good and kind things, but are good and kind people. As you spend time in that church community, ask yourself if the people are good, kind, peaceful, patient, joyful, and loving.

Look for a faithful person. Pastoring is more than a job; it is a calling in and for the community. A pastor is involved in marrying, burying, baptizing, baby dedicating, and guiding people through the highs and lows of life together. This requires presence. A good pastor relates to people with gentleness. People carry brokenness and must be handled gently, so the cracks won’t spread and the brokenness won’t grow. A gentle pastor walks into people’s lives quietly and only when invited. They open doors slowly and carry extra grace in their pocket. They are not harsh, judgmental, or someone to be feared; gentleness neither condemns nor threatens.

Lastly, look for self-control. In the Greek world, self-control meant making decisions from a both passion and reason held in balance so that you were led neither by cold reasoning nor hot passions. Self-control makes decisions that take into account both the wisdom of the church (the past) and the coming kingdom of God (the future). They do not make decisions impulsively or on a whim. Good pastors are driven not by dopamine but by the wisdom of the ages.

Two Important Questions

Finally, ask yourself two questions.

First, do I want to become like this pastor?
Pastors leave footprints in the sand for others to follow. If your sons and daughters follow those footsteps and become like this pastor, will you be pleased? I often meet people who express fear of their pastor, and then I watch as, over time, their children come to fear their parents. You become like your pastor.

Second, do I want to read the Bible as this pastor reads it?
You learn how to read the Bible like the people you read the Bible with. If a pastor interprets the Bible harshly or if the reading is unloving, such is yours likely to become. A reading that bores you will turn people toward the back door. A reading of the Bible that subjugates women will subjugate others. A reading of the Bible that condemns others will eventually condemn you because it is a reading that allows condemnation. If you don’t want to read the Bible in a way that subjugates and condemns, then don’t follow a pastor who promotes such readings in the church. Look for a pastor who reads the Bible widely, generously, accurately, lovingly, peacefully, gently, joyfully, and kindly. To summarize, a good pastor is one who lives like Jesus and wants others to join in the journey of learning together how to live like Jesus.

This is an excerpt from Invisible Jesus: A Book about Leaving the Church and Looking for Christ (pp. 145-147), by Scot McKnight and Tommy Preson Phillips. Published by Zondervan.